As a professional product reviewer, I’m skeptical of every product on the internet. So many companies invent a problem that nobody has ever had, just so they can sell you something to solve it. Have you ever tried to blend gallons of liquid with the lid off, or tried to chop vegetables with a rusty machete and oily hands? Me neither. Accessibility issues aside, most of the time you just don’t need a Slap Chop, not when kitchen knives do just fine.
But all that came to an end when I tested the Big Blanket Co. Oversized Blanket. I did not know I needed an enormous blanket until I started using it, and now I want 75 more. It’s just a blanket, but it’s also one of the very few things I use every single day.
Large and In Charge
This gigantic boi measures 10 feet by 10 feet. Your 64-inch throw blanket could never. It covers whole rooms. At 5’1″, I can wrap myself up in it multiple times. I can make myself fuzzy little dinosaur hands and foot sandwiches and still have blanket to spare with my cat, partner, or both.
The soft and silky finish could be a little heavier, but it still keeps me plenty warm and cozy. Because it’s polyester and Spandex, the whole thing is machine-washable. It dries quickly, too, even in my run-down dryer. They come in a wide variety of styles and colors. I’ve been using the Original Stretch, but there are Sherpa Stretch ($249) and Plush ($279) versions and a few others, including some intended for outdoor use. The Original Stretch goes on sale during most major shopping holidays.
I can’t emphasize enough how enormous this thing is. You can fit so many people under it. The most I’ve managed to fit underneath so far is four grown adults and a cat, but you could fit a whole family of kids snuggled up for movie night under one of these. Just imagine it—a big pile of your favorite folks, enjoying the coziness of sharing a blanket with none of the squashed-together-ness. This is the future.
There’s Always More
Photograph: Amazon
I’m obsessive about getting comfortable and I’m awful at it. I can’t sleep unless my blankets are perfectly positioned and my hands and feet are, too. I’ve driven my partner crazy on multiple occasions because I just can’t stop fidgeting. This behemoth blanket is a one-and-done affair. I sit down, settle in, and bask in layers of cuddly goodness, with room to spare. I can toss and turn and rearrange all I want, and my whole body is still covered up. I’ve started taking the blanket from room to room in my house so I can be Maximum Comfy at all times.
My skin doesn’t stick to my vintage, awesome-looking-but-terribly-uncomfortable Naugahyde sofa anymore. I don’t fight with my partner about the thermostat settings. I don’t sit on the couch in a stupor, wanting to nap but not being able to get comfortable enough under a throw, just stuck in a drowsy limbo. I don’t have to choose between having chilly ankles or chilly shoulders. My cat can take up as much unnecessary room as she wants, all without compromising my ability to cover up. This ginormous blanket is one of my top snuggly sidekicks. I wrap myself up and am immediately transported to the realm of utmost relaxation.
This Oversized Blanket has solved so many of my actual problems that I didn’t even realize were problems in the first place. I feel like I’m starring in an infomercial. My whole life was black and white, and now I live in full-on color. There’s motivational music playing in the background and I’m frolicking in the fields, dragging my gigantic blanket in tow.
